Deciding to have a life instead, I watched just seven (7) minutes of the political conventions this year. Each. Seven random minutes. Nothing substantive, as it turned out. But then, what did I expect?

Clinton [ 179k .wav | 179k .au ] was just at the "God Bless You, and God Bless America" part of his speech in Chicago when I tuned in, so it was red white and blue balloons falling to some innocuous classic rock, nearly danceable tune, while Democrats cheered like high schoolers at a pep rally for their beloved Wildcats who were preparing for battle that night against the dreaded crosstown rival the Fort Meade Mustangs.

NBC (or one of them) gave a backstage view of the Gores, First Lady and Chelsea, cramped in a telephone booth sized space dancing little jittery steps [ 49k .wav | 49k .au ] and swaying while waiting for their cue to join the President in the spotlight. When they did, I got a kick out of Tipper [ 221k .wav | 221k .au ] laying hands on Al (probably not unlike Jesus on a [ 77k .wav | 77k .au ] leper) every time the wild and crazy Goremiester attempted to dance. Her touch was meant to remind him, "Now, Al. You promised" and the Veep dutifully lost the happy feet Jones for a few moments until, overcome by the happy little beat, began at first tapping, then shuffling his again happy little feet, requiring another subtle reminder from that school marm-ish Miss Tipper. Do they have sex? If so, how? "Al! Al! ...Stop moving!"

Dancing like Frankenstein's monster with a Herman Munster gaze was a harmless joke four years ago, but now, My God, it is not, I repeat, NOT "Presidential Behavior" and Gore has but four more short years to make himself into a viable candidate for the top job. No dancing, No dancing, No dancing! (You go Gore Girls, that's a whole different issue). Yes, the Democrats are battling the unpardonable sin of looking foolish on the idiot box, as if the stiffness of Al Gore's free-form, white guy dancing style is a clue into his ability to set policy on acid rain or domestic terrorists. Sorry, it shouldn't be the deal breaker that adding that starchy "e" in potato was, because that gaff happened in a school where, hey let's face it, education is the issue.

Earlier, from San Diego I had the lucky pleasure of getting to watch the Big Screen video tribute to Ron-Dog Reagan [ 77k .wav | 77k .au ]. At the end of this video worship-fest people were actually wiping tears from their eyes! Like Ronnie had actually impacted their lives. I could understand this behavior if the tear wipers were the thousands of homeless left out in the cold, directly created by the greatest era of fiscal irresponsibility since oil, steel, and railroad barons built their 297 room Newport, R.I. "Cottages" with profits off the broken backs of powerless laborers in American Big Business' finest hour.

Reagan's (George Bush quote, just months before accepting the Vice Presidential nod in another blatantly politics first grab) widened the rift between
the rich and the rest, creating an even clearer class distinction in a country that ain't supposed to have any. "Trickle Down Theory" is so blatantly asinine, the only defense the ex-president has is perhaps it came to him in an early, ugly pre-cursor to the that grips him today[ 183k .wav | 183k .au ].

Here's the scoop from The Rant: Ron Reagan was a b a d
p r e s i d e n t. The deficit spending juggernaut took off in his first years in office and remains his longest lasting legacy since it came home to roost just as Bush was trying to win a second term. That's a lesson about being careful who you get into bed with, Some of the ravages of those diseases don't show up for years, and when you can least afford them.

It may have taken a potato (e?) eared megalo-maniacal Texas billionaire to make an issue of our monstrous deficit but here, at least, Perot [ 213k .wav | 213k .au ] made sense. Republicans and Democrats alike get no credit for attacking the problem of the runaway deficit. They were both content to ignore it until the little dictator began squeaking about huge sucking sounds (no, that was NAFTA), showing us charts and graphs that made some scary sense if we could begin to grasp just what exactly a Trillion Dollars means, and realize too, the figure is higher even, than that.

There is such a thing as cause and effect. The cause was Reagan's economic plan, and the effect is the deficit. Oh, is that too simple for you? That might mean you don't agree. To refute that little gem, you'll need convoluted mathematical formulas and economic theory you don't understand. I learned a long time ago, the more intricate the argument, the more likely the guy making it is guilty of something. The deficit is shrinking. Giving the Republicans the opportunity to clean up the mess they created is like giving matches to the arsonist and trusting him to burn fire lines in order to contain the blazes he started. You can't be surprised if he burns the fire trucks instead, while the banks across town bursts into flames.

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Addendum:

I ran into a guy who started up a conversation with, "Who you voting for?" I answered his question with the same question. He replied that both choices were so sub-standard that he probably wasn't going to vote.

I nodded.

Another guy, with the same stance, pressed. I finally responded that one is left with voting for the platform rather than the man. His follow up question,

I give up.

I voted for Bill Clinton.

And in 2000 I'm voting for Al Gore. Or whoever it is the Democrats put forward because I can't imagine the Republican platform ever speaking to me. I live in a city. The problems we have are not solved with cutting taxes & programs. I hope that if I ever do sell that screenplay in a Hollywood bidding war frenzy that I don't move to some gated enclave but decide to continue to embrace a party that is inclusive rather than the one containing the politics of Newt's hit squads, tempered with the poison of Jerry Falwell.

Congratulations Mr. Clinton.

Be MORE liberal.

And good luck.

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© Copyright 1996 Urban Desires