"There are no one-night stands with a dog.
Once you let your pet into your bed, it's hard to get him out." - Diana Delmar

Me and Lame Jack was layin' around the alley back of old Tweeter's place chewing on a sack of ribs and sluggin' off the dregs of a Forty that had set all day in the sun. It was New Orleans hot. And he says: "Rusty," he says, "could there be a breeze, just the slightest breeze liftin' up offa' that old river -- or could I be mistaken?" Well he wasn't mistaken. There was a distinctive breeze and I was thankful for it. I stretched out and leaned back against the bricks and let the breeze tickle my belly and old Lame Jack did the same. Then all of a sudden, a scent came riding along on that river breeze that made us set right up and take notice. In fact, it brought me and Lame Jack scramblin' to our feet like Lazarus off his cot when the Lord said: "Rise up and walk." She was unmistakably headed our way. I knocked Lame Jack to one side and he knocked me to the other and we slid around on the barbecue sauce quite a little bit in our understandable excitement. Now Lame Jack kicks the bottle and it starts rollin' down the bricks like a bowlin' ball. Then we seen her shadow fall across the mouth of the alley and it was long and tall. We stood there frozen like Lot's wife who turned to salt from looking at sin. Every hair on the back of our necks stood up. The bottle rolled all the way to the end of the alley and smashed against the wall just as she came steppin' around the corner. And almost before we saw her, we got a whiff of the sweet aroma that could only be the calling card of Chloe LaRue. She stepped over the broken glass and wrinkled her little nose at me and Lame Jack or at the general stink of things in the alley back of Tweeter's. But all we could smell, see or hear was her. I swelled up at the shoulders so's to crowd out Lame Jack and he sticks his good foot in front of me so's to put his best foot forward you understand, and ease me into the background. She didn't let on she'd seen either one of us. And then she moved. Now when I say she moved, well she moved through that alley like the breath of life blowing over the waters when the Lord said: "Let there be life." I felt Lame Jack tremble some and my collar began to choke me. Chloe LaRue blew on through like a heavenly hurricane - but real slow. And just as we'd watched her coming toward us, all legs and fluff, now we watched her going. And you can be sure that when Moses glimpsed the hindquarters of the Lord, he was no more in awe than me and Lame Jack glimpsing the departing parts of Chloe LaRue. It's the sort of thing a fella just don't easy forget. I give Lame Jack a look out of the corner of my eye and he does the same back at me and we got one eye on each other and one eye on Chloe LaRue. But all hell broke loose about ten seconds later when she stopped a few yards from us and she... well frankly, she wiggled it at us. | next | Get the dirt on Sex in the 90's