Y'know, DWD could turn a few heads after this interview. The number of requests for your recordings could increase two-fold. Equipped?

5: [Laughing] We're not adverse to the attention...it's just we haven't yearned for it and gone making jerks of ourselves, smooching corporate ass, the asses of music critics...

TF: No offense, but everyone's a critic, and that would entail a lot of puckerin'. Chap Stick! Medic! Glord!

CM: Our so-called back catalog is dead as Redd Foxx. We've got a few copies of ...Phus on CD, but anything else we have the privilege of selling goes out on analog cassettes. The last three albums have been burned [as CDs], but we only did approximately 20-30 copies of each. After a couple years the shit does disappear...strangely enough.

5: [Gesturing ceiling-ward] The next Beatles could be noodling around in the apartment upstairs, but just because they don't yearn the spotlight of MTV's Buzz Bin doesn't mean they aren't that miraculous or teriffic. There's a difference between achieving musical success and going on Letterman. The latter was not necessarily beget by the former.

TF: Success in the public eye is a perk. As long as we produce good music with integrity we have nothing to worry about. People in-the-know recognize it when they hear it. I sure as shit wouldn't call Pearl Jam chock full of integrity. They're too busy battling TicketMaster. Great PR move that.

CM: We know better...I think. Maybe we're too old. I dunno. I go to bed around eleven. [Laughing] Maybe that's why our shows never go off, we're all asleep when we should be taking the stage. Hmm. Something to think about there.

Future plans? A tour?

TF: Uh-huh, yeah.

5: I was hoping we could open for the Flaming Lips when they play at Numbers.

CM: Why stop there? Let's see if we can't finagle opening for Styx when they play The Woodlands.

5: Yes! Styx rocks!

And on that note: Domo arigato, gentlemen.

TF: [Excitedly] Hey, I've got that on vinyl somewhere. [Getting up] Where the hell is it?

CM: Oh-oh. Now you've done it. I see a cover of "Mr. Roboto" in the immediate future. How, um, pleasant.

Song samples from the latest Dogs With Diapers CD: Floss Fer Phus

448K .wav file | The Little Drummond Boy | 320K .au file

384K .wav file | A New Low | 288K .au file

256K .wav file | The Ballad of Slappy | 224K .au file

384K .wav file | Everybody Gets Some (at the Prom) | 288K .au file

DWD has no immediate plans to tour in support of Floss Fer Phus, but will release their fifteenth album, Sausage Medium, in October (you probably won't hear about it). They're also looking forward to the new Michael J. Fox sitcom on ABC this fall. Astonishingly, the band is e-mailable. They can be reached at dwd@retox.com.

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© Copyright 1996 Urban Desires