Right off the bat, guys: Dogs With Diapers? I find this name slightly unnerving, but atypical, and riotous at the same time. Ever seen a dog with a diaper?
CM: A dashiki, yes. A dashiki is a Japanese diaper. Maybe we should've called ourselves Dogs With Dashikis?
5: [Unsmiling] I own a dog who wears a diaper.
Really now.
TF: Yes he does. [Whistling] Maggie!
[In trots an Alaskan Malamute wearing a blue diaper around its hind end. Larger than diapers most humans are accustomed to seeing, this one actually seems to be serving a purpose aside from cheap laughs and canine consternation. Maggie doesn't appear to be bothered by the encumbrance. She stops to sniff the rug.]
5: She was born with a bladder disease, and she was the runt of the litter. Other pups were going for $400 a piece, but the breeder was willing to give Maggie away. I took her to the vet, found out what was wrong, and got the medication -- which she's been on since that day. She's seven-years-old now. Back then the vet suggested that she wear these doggie diapers just in case. Hey, why not? She's grown used to 'em. I guess they save on cleaning costs for me. She's a doll, I love her.
CM: The first time Tristan and I came over to 5's place, Maggie was a puppy, and had managed to get the diaper onto her head. It was too big and I guess she'd been running around. Anyway, Tristan looks down and says, "Dog, there's a panty on your head."
[Laughter]
TF: So when it came time to name the band we started a few months later, Dogs With Diapers seemed the, uh, logical choice? We drag Maggie onstage and perform enforced diaper affixion. (Not really).
Your latest, Floss Fer Phus, is album number?
TF: Thirteen.
5: Fourteen. We decided to count the CD of remakes of Special Olympians Sing!, remember?
TF: [Laughing] Oh, okay! Didn't realize we voted on that. One-four then.
And the gravity of this title?
CM: 'Phus' is short for Bocephus, as in Hank Williams, Jr, and the floss part?
TF: Alliteration.
You've been recording for nearly seven years, have released fourteen albums, and have attained about as much notoriety as a gas station attendant. What be up with that?
5: Gas station attendant?! Watch it. You too could wind up working in a gas station.
CM: Our biggest problems are that our manager is actually a homeless drunk, and whenever we perform live something invariably happens to ruin the show.
Like a plague of locusts?
TF: Would mealworms suffice?
Acts of God?
CM: 5 has twice been struck by lightning.
And you've persevered.
TF: We haven't lost much money doing this. We get the CDs burned for five bucks each, and all the equipment's paid for.
So, what? Thriftiness is the motive to record?
TF: The music's unique and provides us much joy to listen to. We like listening to our stuff. The right music can make you happy you're living in Kingwood.
5: I am so sure! What is your damage, Tris?
CM: What else is there to do for a living? Design Web sites? Snort.
